I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
