Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
