There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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