I must be too annoying 4 u.
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
