and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
