I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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