Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I am one with the molecules
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
