you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
