If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
