he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
