y did u give ur computer a hand job?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
