This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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