well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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