if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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