His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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