he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
