How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
