And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
