He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
