It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
