my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
