its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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