Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
