Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
sex in a hospital.. check
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
