WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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