i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Found your dick twin last night
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
