i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
