haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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