he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
