FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
