God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
