yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
