There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
