Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
