let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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