somebody snuck up and got me drunk
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
