so that wasnt chicken after all
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
