In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
