A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
