I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
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