Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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