I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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