i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Im part way to drunk.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
