why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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