just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
