I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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