i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
