if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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