just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
