I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
