No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
